


RoseMary of Three Sorts

by AltUniverseWash



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Bitter, Canon Lesbian Character, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Context, Drabble, Earth C (Homestuck), Experimental, F/F, Lesbian Character, POV Lesbian Character, Sweet, micro story, relationships, rosemary, short fiction, split narrative
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:15:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24534436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AltUniverseWash/pseuds/AltUniverseWash
Summary: Kanaya is baking a cake for Rose's birthday and asks for her to pass the butter. They talk. Or do they playfully flirt with each other? Or does Rose engage in a bitter series of mean-spirited jabs?A short experimental fic to show the role that inter-dialogue text can have on the interpretation of a narrative and the characters within it.
Relationships: Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam
Comments: 8
Kudos: 17





	RoseMary of Three Sorts

**A Conversation**

Kanaya: Rose Would You Be So Kind As To Pass Me The Butter?

Rose: I would be only too happy to pass you the aforementioned butter, but on one condition!

Kanaya: And What Would The Nature Of This Condition Be?

Rose: You must tell me immediately and forthwith what your intentions are for said butter!

Kanaya: Oh

Kanaya: Of Course

Kanaya: I Intend To Bake A Cake

Rose: And yet you and I both know that between the two of us, there’s a certain dearth of culinary skills. To whit – you’re a shitty baker!

Kanaya: I Know This Is A True Statement In The General Sense

Kanaya: However I Have Been Receiving Lessons

Kanaya: From Jane!

Rose: Oh ho! The plot thickens, much like the batter of this hypothetical cake! And were you as astute a student as you were when you and I experimented with certain… learned behaviors.

Kanaya: Rose

Kanaya: I Am Scandalized At The Implication

Kanaya: Besides

Kanaya: The Cake Is For A Special Event

Kanaya: To Whit

Kanaya: Your Birthday Tomorrow

Rose: Oh.

Rose: Well, shit.

**A Conversation, with Intimacy**

Kanaya looked up from her spot at the kitchen counter, over at Rose LaLonde, who stood absentmindedly flipping through a book of written notes.

Kanaya: Rose Would You Be So Kind As To Pass Me The Butter?

Rose looked up, her attention caught – a small smile on her face as she responded in a sly voice.

Rose: I would be only too happy to pass you the aforementioned butter, but on one condition!

She leaned forward, propping her elbows on the counter.

Kanaya: And What Would The Nature Of This Condition Be?

Rose waggled her eyebrows.

Rose: You must tell me immediately and forthwith what your intentions are for said butter!

Kanaya: Oh

Kanaya felt her face growing warm – the faint traces of jade flushing already.

Kanaya: Of Course

Kanaya: I Intend To Bake A Cake

Rose: And yet you and I both know that between the two of us, there’s a certain dearth of culinary skills. To whit – you’re a shitty baker!

The jade flush expanded and Kanaya fidgeted – her secret was coming out!

Kanaya: I Know This Is A True Statement In The General Sense

Kanaya: However I Have Been Receiving Lessons

Kanaya: From Jane!

She looked down at her red apron, perfectly smoothed to protect her skirt from the baking process.

Rose: Oh ho! The plot thickens, much like the batter of this hypothetical cake! And were you as astute a student as you were when you and I experimented with certain… learned behaviors.

Her face was on fire now – it no longer had  _ anything _ to do with the baking or the joke that Rose was absolutely driving into the floor. Instead, Kanaya found her thoughts wandering somewhere quite different. She let her eyes linger on Rose’s hips for a minute...

Kanaya: Rose

Yes... Rose. Kanaya bit her bottom lip.

Kanaya: I Am Scandalized At The Implication

That wasn’t true.

Kanaya: Besides

Yes.

Kanaya: The Cake Is For A Special Event

It was.

Kanaya: To Whit

She could play this game too!

Kanaya: Your Birthday Tomorrow

Kanaya smiled to herself, because even though Rose never made a big deal of it. Even though she had, in fact, told Kanaya that the whole concept was stupid… Kanaya had heard the pain in her voice when she told her that no one ever bothered with her birthday anymore anyway. There was more hurt there than Kanaya knew Rose was willing to admit.

But, she told herself, she could work with that.

Rose: Oh.

Rose was starting to smile, the realization of what was happening slowly spreading up her face and blossoming into an expression that could only be described as  _ joyful _ . And it was Rose’s turn to blush now.

Rose: Well, shit.

The smile not stopping for a moment, Rose reached into the fridge. And with an exaggerated wink, she handed Kanaya the butter.

**A Conversation, with Bitterness**

Kanaya looked up from her spot at the counter, hesitantly, towards Rose LaLonde. The woman stood there flipping through a book of written notes, the air of dismissal already hanging about her.

Kanaya: Rose Would You Be So Kind As To Pass Me The Butter?

Rose’s attention perked up and she smirked – an expression that seemed to be filled with malice more than any kind of playfulness.

Rose: I would be only too happy to pass you the aforementioned butter, but on one condition!

Kanaya sighed inwardly – because this was going to be the same as it always was.

Kanaya: And What Would The Nature Of This Condition Be?

Rose: You must tell me immediately and forthwith what your intentions are for said butter!

Kanaya: Oh

Why couldn’t she just stop?

Kanaya: Of Course

All the times Kanaya told her how uncomfortable it made her feel.

Kanaya: I Intend To Bake A Cake

There! Fine!  _ Are you happy, Rose?! _

Rose: And yet you and I both know that between the two of us, there’s a certain dearth of culinary skills. To whit – you’re a shitty baker!

Kanaya tried to steady herself – she hated the barbs that Rose threw her way. The verbal thorns that were used to hurt not through a singular bleeding, but in the cumulative hurt of a thousand tiny pinpricks.

Kanaya: I Know This Is A True Statement In The General Sense

Kanaya: However I Have Been Receiving Lessons

Kanaya: From Jane!

_ There! _ The  _ big secret _ was indeed out in the open. She’d asked someone who knew what they were doing to help her. And what would Rose LaLonde have to say to that?! Something pointed and somewhat mean, no doubt.

Rose: Oh ho! The plot thickens, much like the batter of this hypothetical cake! And were you as astute a student as you were when you and I experimented with certain… learned behaviors.

She felt like crying. She was so tired – so tired of the way that Rose acted. As if she were simply  _ bored _ with her life as a literal god. As if the thrill of S’Burb had been the only thing keeping them glued together as a couple. And was that it? Was the seeming passion they’d shared only the result of Rose’s thrill-seeking?

The more she thought on it – the more she saw, the more Kanaya thought it was the case. That the once-playful banter held a dark undertone that had been hard to see in the pixelated space of their early chats. That their lovemaking had the unseemly feeling that Kanaya was being  _ used _ by someone she thought cared about her.

Kanaya: Rose

She felt the sigh leaving her chest.

Kanaya: I Am Scandalized At The Implication

But Rose wouldn’t care.

Kanaya: Besides

Kanaya: The Cake Is For A Special Event

Kanaya: To Whit

Kanaya: Your Birthday Tomorrow

Why did she even bother? Why did she bother trying to get through to her? She wasn’t the woman that Kanaya thought she’d fallen in love with. Because that woman wasn’t real – had never been real. Would never  _ be _ real.

Rose: Oh.

She looked almost disappointed that there wasn’t more for her to stab at. Or maybe she was just bored – Rose always seemed so  _ bored _ lately.

Rose: Well, shit.

Without another word, Rose turned dismissively and walked out of the kitchen.

Kanaya bent over, put her head in her hands…

...and softly, to herself, she cried.

**Author's Note:**

> Dear Reader, thank you once again for reading my work!
> 
> If you enjoy my fic, please be sure to check out my other works!
> 
> Please follow me on Twitter [@AltUniverseWash](https://www.twitter.com/AltUniverseWash)


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